kyaw

2010-01-19T02:05:00.002+08:00

It has been a boring 3 weeks since I came back. No school. No commitment , nothing.
Has been going out lately since I am bored to death at home. The guys played against Pierce Sec boys for third time in a row. Thats how much free time we are having.

Went for class outing yesterday. Was fun. Getting an injury around my toe in beach soccer wasnt that fun though.

Tried my best to talk but it never happen. A text was all i could do.

Anyway , though as much as I wish to tell u the reason for not adding u up, how could I? especially when the reason is way too stupid for you.(at least thats my guess) . No , not because I dislike u or anything. If it is the case , I wouldnt even have tried to mend that fragile friendship. The reason is way too complex.

2009-11-29T00:05:00.002+08:00

I would be a liar if i were to say you were just my puppy love. You were more than that. But nah I am not going to advance to u or anything, I will just stay from a distance and look at you with guilt and regret.

2009-11-27T23:52:00.002+08:00

As we sat across the function room in Conrad where I had this little chat with you , I missed out so many stuffs that I have always wanted to say. No ,I am not looking for a reunion or whatever , but at times I do feel like telling you the stuffs that I went through. There were so many stuffs that I prepared to say , 20 plus notes that I wrote and crushed , coz they were all to inperfect. Oh well , I still feel you deserve to know how I have turned out for you are very significant character in my life who once shaped the course of social life i choose to take.

Note : If there is any arrogant/self-centered/blood-sucking prick by the name of Lao Lyjing reading this, pls dont get ur hopes too high , I am not writing about you. You are never all that miss. Go and be a camwhore and cambodianwhore instead.

2009-07-06T13:42:00.002+08:00

Life is a play

What is our life? A play of passion,
Our mirth the music of division,
Our mother's wombs the tiring-houses be,
Where we are dressed for this short comedy.
Heaven the judicious sharp spectator is,
That sits and marks still who doth act amiss.
Our graves that hide us from the setting sun
Are like drawn curtains when the play is done.
Thus march we, playing, to our latest rest,
Only we die in earnest, that's no jest.

Sir Walter Raleigh

2009-07-06T08:39:00.002+08:00

He is such an eye sore early in the morning.

2009-07-03T18:16:00.001+08:00

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder's
To me, you were always a beauty

2009-06-27T15:04:00.002+08:00

they are back. How blissful can that be.
Should start counting down for O's .
A lot had happened recently. The goods and the bad.
I shall take the goods since they were more.
I have scaled the heights of friendships.
Time to scale for study instead.

2009-06-24T13:02:00.001+08:00

To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.

- Bill Wilson -

2009-06-21T00:02:00.004+08:00

2009-06-20T21:57:00.035+08:00

Enjoy

2009-06-20T19:45:00.002+08:00

The sun shone really really bright at me last night after months of darkness. Weeeeheeeee.
My life was lit and my spirit was lifted by its sheer presence. I loved every moment of it.
Thank you.
I have learnt to accept that not all beautiful poems rhyme though.

2009-06-17T00:30:00.000+08:00

every single word is a painful stab

2009-06-03T21:00:00.004+08:00

I had this unbelievably awesome dream about Nat Shin Naung last night. Too bad I didn't get to see Datu Kalyar though (pronounced as Dar-Dhu-Cla-Yar). Ho ho ho awesoooommmmmmmmeeeeee. :D :D
I know its just a dream but still......
Anyway the dream is rather strange.This is a result of watching Naresuan , Ong Bak 2 and thinking whole day long about history.

2009-06-02T15:41:00.005+08:00

A difficult journey on a difficult path.
I have journey-ed for seven long months.

I know I may look like a loser in life to you and all
shedding each hope like leaves
until there is none left

I still think of you all day long
Even though i know its wrong

My past with you I wish i can forget
The memories of you I wish I never gained
But i can't and i never will

Ok, i have no idea what i wrote. Its not even a poem. Neither a letter. Okay whatever. I dont know what i am doing seriously.

Photo Credits : iainalexander@flickr

2009-05-31T23:34:00.001+08:00

Forget about ten times. Did you even completely read it once?
Yeah so much for it.
At the end of the day, everything is worthless.

2009-05-31T20:16:00.007+08:00

Breathtaking beauty of Bagan

Photo Credits: Pe Myint Oo, ARPS

2009-05-30T11:08:00.003+08:00

Woke up around 1 in the afternoon yesterday and that was only because of Keith's call. What else , but soccer. So yeah , laze around till 5 plus before meeting up with them. Played at a court near Jeremy's place. Had a bat start initially before getting the hang of it. But it was too late as when we were really on winning streak the lights of the court went out.

Went on to have supper at near thompson plaza. After much idling around , decided to settle at Prata House. Had a hearty meal. All four of us I mean. Derrick,Keith, J. Lim and me. Did something really big. Felt kind of guilty but told myself it was only for once. Was really fun indeed but it did came at a price of my principles. Oh well. Love hanging out with them. Damn fun. Especially when you have Jeremy. Ridiculously fun -seeking guy ha ha.

Reached home around 12 plus. On my way back , bumped into Jia Qi in the bus. Couldn't recongnize her at all in a dress.

Now that all the fun things are over. Here comes the PTC. My hell awaits me in a little more than an hour time.

2009-05-24T22:08:00.003+08:00

On Friday, I bought a most expensive paper in my life. Well , the paper is about the size of a hand phone and yes i splashed $88 on it. Nonetheless was quite glad at that time . Now , having regrets of course because it made my wallet burst for this and coming week.

Saturday , woke up at 4 am to send two important people of my life.Its only a day now and I am already feeling very empty. I miss all the laughters, brickerings etc. They have become part of my life without me really knowing it. I have attached myself to them without realizing it. I am already missing them so much. Someone mentioned to me once " Absence makes the heart grow fonder". How true. Enjoy yourselves there guys.

Today, went out with Calvin to Orchard around 3 plus after my tuition. He is still the same old friend of mine. Things have changed in the past few months.People have changed. My friends have changed. My results have changed. My reputation have changed. Even I have changed.But there is nothing that change and that is my friendship with him. Its still like yesterday when we would fool around in amk central back in December 07.

Well what can I say about the outing with him? Laugh and laugh and laugh. Crazy.
In the end after so much of walking we managed to find the present for a mutual friend.
Did catch up on many stuffs. Of course , memories that are supposed to fade comes back into reality as our conversation goes.Oh well at least he has left his secondary school life behind.

Investiture coming , and I am dead busy with it. My final bow. First I was no longer a school tem player. Now , I am no longer the VP of council. the next I would no longer be in 4/5.And finally I would no longer be in AMKSS. Life goes on though.

Have a nice day, ppl.

2009-05-21T22:19:00.004+08:00

I wish i can just get away from this school.....
never ever harbored such thoughts till today.....
but now at this moment, I really really want to be in an another school instead......

2009-05-19T09:57:00.000+08:00

Shedding each hope like leaves
Until one day there are none
No hopes
Nothing remains
He fronts a mask to hide his face
His eyes are deep water
It is not for him to want
It is not for him to feel
Everything evaporated into thin air
Just like a cloud of smoke
Just like a lost child
He looked for her
He looked for her fanatically
He kneed in prayers
Will his prayers be answered one day
Time will tell
These are not the memoirs of a King, nor a famed gladiator
not of a celebrity
certainly not from Romeo for Juliet
But it has its own weight
After all
they are from a lost young man

Wrote this poem while I was emo-ing. Enjoy.

2009-05-17T09:54:00.008+08:00

Can't contain my new hobby anymore so I digged out a few photos that i have taken awhile ago and did some improvements. Using compact cam so the angles lenses aren't that wide and it may look rather flat. Nonetheless its my first try. The first photo was taken at Ayutthaya in March 2007.

Weathered and ran down
but I am still running strong

Abandoned...
this is where loneliness creeps in

2009-05-16T14:27:00.006+08:00

Phot Credits : Foruall22 @ MMCP

I am so gonna get a DSLR after O's and turn the earth upside down :D

2009-05-14T14:50:00.003+08:00

I hate the sate that I am in now. Its in free fall. Everyday as I wake up and wash my face in front of the mirror and then looking at myself., there is only one thing on my mind,and its DISGUST .God , help me.

Screw up my papers as usual. E.maths wasn't that bad though. But physic and bio plain sucks.

At the end of the day , you asked for it. No point , broiling with anger.

2009-05-11T18:23:00.005+08:00

Man Utd 2-0 Man City

Tevez celebrates after scoring Man Utd's second against Man City

Watched this match though I am not man u supporter. Was hoping Man City can grind out a result so that Liverpool have any chance to let the dream stay alive.
Oh well , man city were pants. Really let everyone down.

Now another season for liverpool with out any silverware.

Dad was here from friday to sunday. Stopped by here after a summit in Indo.
So i didn't study anything during those days. Hopefully whatever that I have crammed in sunday eve and today will be enough. Dad's stay here was great :)

Tomorrow is E.maths paper. Hopefully it would be a manageable one.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel .

Studied with a new friend today. She was great. The only regret is how it brought us to be friends. Its a shame for it is because of * .

2009-05-10T09:58:00.003+08:00

You guys may love or loathe me.......Thats entirely on your side...I don't want to bother with that....

To no name......
You may have much of things to talk about but pls the way you are doing it is in cowardly manner.
Why not just come to me and say straight to my face?
Another thing, you think my friends have no right to scold you?.....I am rather reasonable....I take it that I can scold you then...Is that what you are trying to say?...Are you saying you will stop if I step in?......I am not gonna scold you....Thats not my way..... All I am asking is you to kindly just leave. Stop leaving comments behind. ok?

To Friends
I know you guys are helping me...but its ok.....I take the comments as a pinch of salt......No point getting worked up for me because of such comments..... I know its hard to ignore but just do it.....Ignorance is bliss
For no name terming you guys with words..........it just show the immaturity.
Nevermind, you guys are great in every way .
At least I know you guys don't label your teachers as having "enormous nose" to poke into ppl business or calling your own mother as "bit*h".
At least you guys are never cunning like a fox , not the ones to toss ppl feelings around and suck them out of ppl in what it resembles a vampire sucking blood. Yeah . Just Forget whatever being said. (Note: "no name" not refering to you )

2009-05-08T20:21:00.001+08:00

No name....

Tell u something.....you have no right to scold my friends what so ever. They are my friends and they have the right to defend me if they want.

Anyway , I am not asking for much...stop being such a child and just get away ok.....

I don't want to talk about this issue anymore.....

2009-05-02T02:43:00.002+08:00

why can't you give me that smallest bit of space?........
Is that too much to ask for?

Can't you just restrain, at least bits?
Is it that difficult to ignore?

2009-05-01T12:52:00.002+08:00

You are the apple of my eye , eye
You are the apple of my eye , eye
You are the apple of my eye , eye
You are the apple of my eye , eye

Find myself in love with the phrase from Akon's Right Now

Somethings are best left unsaid....and i shouldn't have said it back then.....

2009-04-25T15:53:00.004+08:00

Feeling Nostalgic
AMKSS no. 19
If only time turns back to june 08
if only we didn't lose 3-1 that macth

2009-04-25T11:38:00.002+08:00

Initially thought of ignoring to all those tags that some pathetic losers who have nothing to do tag.

First, you are nothing but a loser. Look at you , don't even have balls to write our own name. Come on cyber space is so big even if ur name is revealed chances of your whereabouts are never confirmed. So why are you so scared eh ?

You have no right to insult cashmere. At least he has a unique name. At least he uses his name not like some pathetic loser.

And yeah what is so good about Singapore you tell me. You think I am F****** desperate to be here? Tell you something , I am forced to be here by parents. Nvm, at least I have parents who are ambitious ,rich enough and educated enough to send me abroad. How about yours? Why not send you to Australia , America, England ?......Why are you stuck here.....huh.....Oh I forgot, I am currently living in a country where divorcees rate are rather high compare to other Asian countries......MAybe you come from one of those families.....I will repeat again....I am a BURMESE and i am PROUD of that.....never will i exchange that for any other citizenship.
Tell u something , I don't even take up PR status here. So much so that your government sent me two letters in quick succession on my 16th and 17th birthdays. While ppl queue up at Immigration Centre to take up PR , I don't think twice about rejecting those two offers. So now you should rethink how attractive or great Singapore is. Superficial people with a superficial world is where u belong.

2009-04-20T20:05:00.000+08:00

This is my life these days

2009-04-18T11:58:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was burmese new year and I didnt get to do anything. Sometimes I really feel like I am starting to be deprived of burmese culture. I might have born somewhere else, I might have grown up in another land , I might only have lived there for less than half of my life there, I might not look like a typical burmese, but at the end of the day I am Burmese and forever will be. Nothing can change that. And I am burmese through and through.

2009-04-13T00:02:00.002+08:00

ok been ages since I last posted.....looking back at the last post, it made me play back those flashes of memories....they just came streaming in.....ok , but i am no expert yet but i am doing better in over-coming those.....thats a plus

many more pluses in the span of two weeks

gear picking up on mid year.......now i dont feel like doing anything but study....woo hooo!!! Studying is so fun....lolz
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!
Bio is the best!!

on the field its good too , i had the stage to prove that i could still cut it in B-div, if not for my age ,by getting on the score sheet for the last two games..... against sec 4 NAs and scond against sec 5 NAs.....results were 7-5 and 7-2.....we won both!!

scorers against sec 4 NAs
Keith(2)
Me(2)
hakim (penalty)
Cashmere(1)
Own goal

scorers against sec 5 NAs
Cashmere(2)
Keith(2)
Fridaus(1)
Kyaw(free kick)
Sze Ron ( first time in his 4 yrs in amkss) lol no offence....

yeah let me see what else to talk about...
erm went to Zoo on friday
its on someone or rather two blogs so yeah kinda lazy to repeat....
maybe i shall copy and past later or something......

on thursday i touched my phone no less than 20 times picking up and down , typing and preparing to press "send" before i decided against......time and again , i just had that burning urge to send ....but i guess no communication is the best....... wish you would always be happy and merry.....

pictures on zoo coming soon once i get my hands on to them....

oh yeah my hair is growing too long......thinking of shaving it all over again...any comments?

I miss thingyan(burmese water festival)....
i shall write about what is it all about sometime to make sense of how great it is....

2009-03-21T16:24:00.001+08:00

Missing You

i've been trying to live alone
trying to get you out of my life
but after all this time
i can't help myself but miss you

My life was ever so dry
you came into my life and brought hope
little did i know , it was never a prolonged rain
but rather a passing cloud

you're once a dream that came true
an illusion that turned to reality
but suddenly, things turned differently
from the way they used to be
at that point, i have no choice but to let you go

all the pain & sadness are bound inside my heart
all the memories are still preserve in my mind
i miss you so much
coz i can't hide the fact that i'm still in love with you

my life was never the same again
from the very moment when you're gone
i'll be trapped in this loneliness forever
unless a girl like you will bloom into my life again....
but i know that will never happen
for no two person are the same in this world
even as such , you are still the one for me

I thought this was a letter I would never have to write,
I hoped my tongue was something I could bite.
I've realized its just something I cannot do,
Here are my feelings, just a few.

First, I'm still so In Love with you, after all this time,
You told me the same, then left me, what a crime.

Time has passed, everyday you're on my mind,
Your love is with someone else now, what a bind.
I'm so jealous, he's the luckiest guy of luckiest guys on earth
I have seen it, no doubt you two look compatible
But it just make me feel my heart being ripped apart into pieces

The pain of losing you is still fresh in my brain,
even after all these moments, everyday my heart feels the pain.
Will we ever be together again, i say as I sob and mope
as each day passes, I lose a little more hope.
I'll always LOVE you ________, hold these words true
Don't hate me for this, this is what love is making me do

Do I still have a place in your heart?....

Adapted from By Buddy B.

2009-03-21T16:01:00.001+08:00

RECALL

Last night I lived in memories
Of times
That I hold
Cherished in my heart,
The happy hours spent with you,
The joy of just being together,
Feeling the closeness
Of our silent conversations,
The smell of grass
And pine needles,
Wind and dampness,
Blossoms and splashing water.
So many images
Scrolled across my memory,
Leaving in their wake
That vacuum
Known as loneliness.

B. V. Dahlen ©

2009-03-20T18:11:00.002+08:00

that sheer look of that photo make me sick and tear my soul apart.......

wish there is such thing call "reformatting" in humans too....

2009-03-17T06:15:00.001+08:00

I am too happy to do anything now....18th march came early this year and it was the best that i had for years :D i shall elaborate later. There was nothing quite like it.It was just so mega ultra awesome!! I feel kinda bad though, you guys went through all the troubles for it...i thank you from my heart really and truely...i shall post more later

2009-03-09T16:51:00.001+08:00

Not feeling well since the morning....thus didn't go to the school today....have been sleeping till just now....battery kind of recharged now....its raining now as i type this entry...what i have infront of me on my table is a cup of my first-attempt cappuccino which doesn't seem too bad too bad to me....now all i need is a good book to go with the rain and cappuccino....sis had borrowed a book about life in north vietnam during the war...well wish there is a good romantic book....anyway just spoilt my com, all i did was switching on and bang! There it goes, there was this sound that came out....guess its the power supply unit's fuse...might be coz of voltage....arghh how am i gonna complete exco overnight camp draft.... Nostalgic past....... Would you smile to a loser like me?

2009-03-04T21:05:00.003+08:00

Time flies.....It has been 4 months now...
Oh well....

Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out
Taken from : A little too not over you

Another round of tests have passed by. I have to say i did them badly. Screw all of them up big time especially chem. My days are nothing exciting at all. I am going through them without any real anticipation.
Let me describe about my typical day....
6:30 Wake up
6:40 to 6:50 bathe
7 Bus stop
7:20 Reach School
2 plus School Dismiss
3 to 4 plus Extra lessons etc.
4 to 5 plus Council Stuff
then go home....
surf net...
have dinner
bathe...
then all would be done around 9 plus...
about an hour plus on homeworks
then sleep...

Texts in my handphone inbox are also very sparse. And even those texts that were sent to me are only urgent matters. Oh crap.

I love my seating arrangement in class though. Sharlyn , Wakar and Xue Ting are awesome......
Oh how i miss those days.....
If only we can turn back the time.......

2009-02-28T18:19:00.002+08:00

My mind fills with confusions whenever I think of it....

Another "hell week" awaits.....
Bio, Chem, Geog arghh...

2009-02-21T18:00:00.001+08:00

Don't know what i have to say about yesterday....it was just so awesome....thank you guys :) ....i am still feeling very bad about something though...but yesterday reaffirm things and now i am more convinced than ever that the solution was for the best for everyone.....friendship last forever and i seriously don't wish to risk that....i am sure you would understand that too....you guys really fill this invisible gap in me which has always been that longing for a younger bro or a sis.....and i am really grateful for that filled gap.....in turn, i will be there whenever a need arises......things will only get even more beautiful and merry....i am sure those openess and care-free laughters will be in the air forever..... Thanks for the phone strap too :D ...pity my phone is lousy enough to cut any straps with its steel edges....

2009-02-17T18:27:00.001+08:00

PS: I am not trying to get even or anything. I just want to vent my frustrations for the way i was led and this is the best remedy I could think of that wouldn't affect the rest.......After all no point, talking face to face too.....Code of conduct and humanitarian sides are near zero for some...... Zzzz
oh yeah ppl don't bother looking at the name in the videos, I have blurred them. Though my identity was never protected, I still do have the duty to protect one identity and privacy.

2009-02-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

I deserve something better...refusal to meet in person is a insult to the sincerity shown....oh yeah pls remember what goes around come back around....hope falling from grace one day won't be that painful for you...

2009-02-16T21:11:00.000+08:00

I do take back certain words that i written out. i had this phone call and it cleared a bit up. But i shall keep the post just as a memory.

2009-02-16T14:37:00.001+08:00

You got what you wanted in the end....and thanks for all the distractions....the most convincing plot and an execution that can't get any better... I salute you....at the end of the day, you had fun tossing me around like a toy....thanks again...

2009-02-15T16:00:00.003+08:00

I am really reluctant to face Monday....
just what did i do to make it go bad.....
after all.......innocence is in the air

Oh well, Alexis sent me this story kind of make me think through things
and yeah I love the word "reciprocate" being used so fittingly...
certain things just don't reciprocate in life......
"for every action, a reaction is promised to us" Not always the case , i would say.....
sometimes you try so hard studying yet you dont get good grades.....
sometimes you try hard to sacrifice for a friend yet he/she doesnt appreciate
sometimes you try hard to score a goal in a match, but the closest you get is hitting the bar....
sometimes.......
sometimes.......
oh well certain elements in life just don't reciprocate ....

I just woke up at 2 something in the afternoon....
There goes half a sunday of mine.....
and yeah i haven't done any of the homeworks yet.....
Oh well, maybe i shall do it at night...if i can stay awake....
there is nothing better than sleeping in this world....
it just keeps you out of troubles and stress....

2009-02-14T03:47:00.000+08:00

Was clearing up some old files and came across this that i wrote dunno when ago.....cant really recall...but it should be either in sec one or two....Just thought that I would type it out.......kind of nostalgic ...... anyway Valentines Notion is the ONE and kind of tricky coz I had to refrain/avoid certain taboo words in that.....over all turned out to be something of a general in its meaning....

When will I see you again
how could I wish I could overcome
obstacles and fly to you

Just to see your lovely face
beneath upon is a faint smile

To you tight
and to see the light
though I could only wish it might

I once saw you in a mall
and I was too surprised and appalled
for I saw you walking with a guy
and it made me want to die

Before you came into my life it was messed up
and you encouraged me to press hard
it was tedious
but I was serious
then, I no longer rot
coz you were my torch

I love you
I miss you
I need you

what a way to celebrate today.....(yeah as if) Unless you count playing soccer with small pathetic group 0f 5 friends ,having to queue up for 10mins for dinner and then having to walk from serangoon all the way back to amk around 11 plus as something exciting.....yeah me and calvin walked from zoei's place to amk ....... and yes that was my Feb 14

Oh i am kind of dreading monday......

2009-02-13T18:52:00.001+08:00

Things would ave been way easier and brighter if i were still playing for school.......it sucks to be overage....:( anyway wrote this poem about valentines day ......only few have seen it so far.....i am at the foyer right now as i enter this entry....friday evening is getting gloomy....bao hui is struggling with the scooping of ice cream coz mr ling has just promised to treat the cboys and they are crowding all over....i have no wish to help him out though for i can't scoop to save my life......

2009-02-12T19:32:00.000+08:00

I am not gonna sleep tonight....i couldn't afford to fall asleep then risk not reaching the school at 6 when the classrooms are open....ok...pathetic saturday ahead....depression alert ppl!!

2009-02-11T19:54:00.000+08:00

Sharlynn is one hundred million percent right.....i owe you for that, partner....oh this evening was la la la la... :)

2009-02-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

My hell week of tests are over!! Yay!....Finally I can relax...Hope the results would be satisfactory.
But then I kind of had to neglect something for that 3 days that can backfire me. How i wish i can turn back the time to the 30th of January. I wish I had more time in my hands to pay my utmost attention to that at that point of time.These tests all screw things up big time...If only there were no tests maybe it wouldn't have been that bad.....

Now all i am left is kicking myself for the way i had conducted.I can only blame myself.

On a separate note, I just realized something.....
There are certain things in live, never worth sacrificing anything ...........
Like the saying goes " Dun judge a book by its cover".............
How true.........Well at least I am happy though...

Hopefully the week ahead is gonna be an exciting one now that the tests are over....
Oh yeah, I dread this Saturday.....gonna be 16th time i spend it alone.....
oh well..........

I just wish responses from certain ppl can be faster

2009-01-31T15:35:00.006+08:00

many things took place in the past week....some problems became smaller while some became bigger......some friends drift away while some gets closer....nonetheless I shall only take the positive...

anyway crazy week ahead...just look at this picture -_-

Hopefully good results ahead....high time for studies now....

anyway was revising geog and found this.......

oh....bitter-sweet reminiscence.....

not that it matters anymore .........
zzzzz.......

i have already read the book other than looking at the cover.....
and it isn't as beautiful or interesting as the cover suggests......

those of you who have been there for me for the past 2 weeks, a big thank you to you guys....

2009-01-27T10:02:00.001+08:00

You were my everything - Aviation

[Talking:]
This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me; let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one else could know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart

[Chorus:]
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you [2x]

I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding his hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work

What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hugged me

I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind

[Chorus:]
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you [2x]

[Talking:]
I just wish everything could have turned out differently
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby

Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse

We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care

Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess

You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another guy
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying

[Chorus:]
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you [2x]

[Talking:]
And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy

2008-10-27T23:46:00.001+08:00

9 more days

2008-10-27T17:23:00.005+08:00

Feeling very suffocated now......nothing can divert my attention from those burning thoughts in my head. I just cant hold on anymore...I am too weak in confidence to mount any significant turn-about ....everyday is fighting a losing battle...

I am not feeling very well....and sis is blasting this song which only make me feel worse....damn the lyrics....anyway something to cheer about....

credit to BBC

Chelsea 0-1 Liverpool

By Phil McNulty
Chief football writer at Stamford Bridge

Alonso's goal ended Chelsea's 86-game unbeaten home run

Liverpool demonstrated their growing title credentials by ending Chelsea's 86-game unbeaten run in the Premier League at Stamford Bridge and moving three points clear at the top of the table.

Xabi Alonso's deflected 10th-minute goal gave Liverpool victory and shattered a Chelsea sequence stretching back to February 2004 on home turf.

It was a deserved triumph for Rafael Benitez's side achieved without Fernando Torres and the first setback for the reign of Luiz Felipe Scolari at Chelsea.

Chelsea enjoyed long periods of possession, but Liverpool never flinched and could have doubled their victory margin had Alonso's second-half free-kick not hit an upright.

Ashley Cole missed Chelsea's best chance after the break, allowing Liverpool to record a victory which is of huge significance in terms of their confidence and self-belief.

Chelsea are still a good team - Scolari

If this game was a measure of Liverpool's ability to finally mount a serious title challenge, then they will have left west London in the knowledge that they now appear to have the ability to finally challenge Chelsea and Manchester United in domestic battle.

Chelsea simply ran out of ideas in the face of a red wall of defensive resistance, with Liverpool's defence led magnificently by Jamie Carragher impenetrable.

Scolari's side opened with a surge of confidence, but took a real knock when Alonso gave Liverpool the lead.

He latched on to a half-clearance, and while his effort carried little power, a deflection off Jose Bosingwa was enough to wrong-foot Petr Cech.

606: DEBATE

YESSSSSSSSSSSS! AT LAST! Their home record of 86 PL games is over! Maybe we can now challenge for the PL.

zarak001

The rest of the opening period was a tale of Chelsea dominating possession but Liverpool were superbly organised and carried an ever-present threat of a second goal on the break.

Steven Gerrard almost provided it after 23 minutes with a dipping effort from 25 yards that required the fingertips of Cech to turn it to safety.

Javier Mascherano was offering Liverpool's defence fierce protection, and an atmosphere of frustration was growing around Stamford Bridge.

Liverpool display almost perfect - Benitez

But Deco almost provided the equaliser nine minutes before the interval when Gerrard lost possession, and the Portugal midfielder advanced before sending a left-foot shot inches wide.

Chelsea may have enjoyed territorial superiority in the first 45 minutes, but the resilience Liverpool have demonstrated throughout this season ensured keeper Pepe Reina had not had any serious work to do.

Liverpool's increasing confidence was demonstrated at the start of the second half, with Gerrard pushed into a more advanced role in support of Robbie Keane.

There was a moment of anxiety for Reina after 54 minutes when he brought down Florent Malouda as he raced into the area, but the linesman's flag had already been raised.

It was Malouda's final contribution as Scolari made a double change, sending on substitutes Franco di Santo and Juliano Belletti, with Salomon Kalou also taken off.

Liverpool sent on Ryan Babel for Keane and they came within inches of doubling their advantage after 61 minutes.

Alonso's low free-kick left Cech motionless, but for Liverpool it agonisingly struck the base of the post and stayed out.

Cole, having already been booked, ran the risk of a red card with a needless foul on Babel, but the foolish intervention of Mascherano in an attempt to ensure he was sent off ended with a yellow card for the Argentine.

Liverpool had applied pressure points to Chelsea all over the pitch, and as the clock ticked down on their formidable home record, some of the calm and order that had characterised their play had disappeared.

But they fashioned their best chance of the game after 72 minutes, only for Cole to slice hopelessly wide when Di Santo knocked Frank Lampard's cross into his path.

Carragher defended heroically to block Deco, but Babel then showed his threat with a rising drive that was just inches away.

Chelsea pressed in the closing stages, but never in any convincing fashion on another day when Liverpool confirmed their growing stature.

Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa (Sinclair 84), Carvalho, Terry, Ashley Cole, Mikel, Kalou (Di Santo 58), Deco, Lampard, Malouda (Belletti 58), Anelka. Subs Not Used: Cudicini, Ivanovic, Ferreira, Alex.

Booked: Malouda, Ashley Cole, Deco.

Liverpool: Reina, Arbeloa, Carragher, Agger, Aurelio, Alonso, Mascherano, Kuyt (Leiva Lucas 88), Gerrard, Riera (Hyypia 90), Keane (Babel 60). Subs Not Used: Cavalieri, Dossena, Benayoun, Pennant.

Booked: Arbeloa, Gerrard, Mascherano.

Goals: Alonso 10.

Att: 41,705

Ref: Howard Webb (S Yorkshire).

BBC Sport Player Rater man of the match on 90 minutes: Liverpool's Steven Gerrard 7.69 (on 90 minutes).

2008-10-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

Did nothing much today....woke up at like 1 in the noon coz I had no mood to do anything really.Yeah guess I dont really have life. Gtalk-ed to a friend of mine in bangkok till 2 plus 3 in the morning.Rather great to catch up with him and stuff. He is still as funny and crappy as ever.He and I were talking about this mutual friend of ours and I got to learn that his gf and him finally broke up after he had found out that she has like 3 other bfs??? in singapore. Got to see her friendster and she look really innocent :( .Not one who would do such a sin. Still feeling bad for him. Thats the last thing wanted.Hopefully things would be better for him.
A day without you......................

Basically I have been doing chores till now. Well i digged up this box which contains school related stuffs from primary 4 to sec 2. As I look at each cert/book/ etc. it brought back memories that have nearly been faded . So basically I am fill with many thoughts now. Damn , i used to be a very hardworking and bright student.till last year i guess. I really hate 2008. hopefully things will be better in 2009.

Kind of regretful that I didnt go with Randy last year when he asked me.Maybe next year ? when he is done with As and me with o's .

The last time I been to this pagoda was back in 2006. life was a bliss back then. No stress and worries. Ok anyway its really amazing that it doesnt fall of though it is at a edge of the cliff. I know science-motivated ppl who argue with cg and stuff , but it has weatherd all sorts of thunderstorms , winds and etc. There used to be a string which is attached to 2 opposite poles that are erected across. This string would actually swing across to and fro underneath the structure and the cliff . o.O
Ok yeah , I wish i can visit there with my friends. But i guess that only be a few years later.

Finally , I managed to unearth a few interesting items from the collections in that box. Will upload the photos when i have the time.
Now finally a poem :)
not mine though....but enjoy

0, my luve is like a red, red rose,
that's newly sprung in June.
0, my love is like a melodie,
that's sweetly play'd in tune.
As fair thou art, my bonnie lass,
so deep in luve am I,
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
till a' the seas gang dry.
Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
and the rocks melt wi' the sun!
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
while the sands of life shall run.
And fare the weel, my only luve!
And fare the well awhile!
And I will come again, my love.
Tho it were ten thousand mile!

Credits: Robert Burns

2008-10-25T15:16:00.002+08:00

Oh yeah I have been reading the tags....
Please guys I know everyone is helping me but just ignore those messages for they arent worth the attention.I have learnt to take them. Ignorance is the way forward.

2008-10-25T14:53:00.002+08:00

Seems like I missed out on a good life skill lesson by not going to school on Thursday. I overslept , okay partly. From what Yi Jun told me social etiquette was a very worth-while lesson...well whats the point of being regretful now....went to Winston's house later that day when ZS texted me that most of them were there. Shortly after , we went down to play soccer.It wasnt that bad , except that I was like a pig who just cant seem to have the stamina.Then Whitley boys joined in and then guess what ?...we were thrashed. Ok fair enough , they were better than us on that day but still somehow i think we could still win. -.- left his place for meeting around 6 plus.
Had a bit of discussion with Yi Jun and Jeremy and then we left mac around 9 plus.

There was a bit of drama later with mum .But i would prefer not to talk about it.

Friday

Hmm let me see.....woke up around 12 and was supoosed to meet zheng siang , sze ron and winston at 1:30. Then the sze ron started texting us to play soccer instead.....what the hell..who on earth would play at that hour ??...crazy guy....so in the end that malay-wannabe didnt go out with us coz he wanted to play soccer. :(
ok then I met with :) while zs and winston had their lunch......thank u guys for understanding ha ha .......hmmm after that we met up and went to ps. A pity sr wasnt there coz he had "spoilt" winston's keyboard the other day and we wanted to scam him into buying new keyboard for winston.Had a great time after i left the guys. But I do hate airports.Yeah I hate them.
eleven days and counting ): sigh...

2008-10-23T14:00:00.002+08:00

Prank Calls...I hate prank calls...seriously what is more annoying than picking up a call when there is no answer from the other side...though in my entire life i have only done it once before, i still dun know whats the pleasure of making the receiver looks like a fool. Really pissed....i get them at least once a week or so...strange numbers of all sort and sometimes private numbers...why do they have private numbers at the first place. I am seriously against such allowance. In a country , in my opinion ,only ppl with certain authority should have such privilege....sigh...I am seriously considering about changing my number.....

enough about ranting i guess....was watching this movie called "four season". It is a thai teenage romance movie and gotta say it is awesome...not much about the acting , but some how the story line is rather interesting....anyone interested can watch it at crunchyroll....

i am no more than a robot now .......but somehow i dont mind being one :)

2008-10-15T22:32:00.003+08:00

ok...i shall blog coz someone is chasing after me for it,....
hmmm ok....here is a cold joke....
what do u call a deer with no eyes??
it is "no idea(no eye deer)......lol

anyway got back my results....still way below my expectations....
but improved generally....sigh....
must really work hard now!!! look like i have to cut down on my social life...

was listening to songs today and there was this burmese song which really touched my heart....maybe i shall translate it when i have the mood....
its about this guy and this girl's romance....a bit common seriously ...but lyrics are unique...

i cant help it but think about how one's life is unpredictable especially in the cases of deaths....one day you are fine and the next day you are gone. Gone forever. From your loved ones. A world would be apart then...I dread and dare not imagine that day when any of my loved ones leaves....I hope it is not at least in next 20 yrs. Not before I have taken good care of them....The last i experienced was my grandma from my dad's side. I dun wish to repeat the same mistake with the other. Why did my mum give birth to ma so late....wish she would have done so a few years earlier so that I would be an dependable adult now.......

anyway 5 day break was really fun. Did many things and basically i was at home only when i was sleeping....two days of going to cage had really taken a toll on me physically but it was well worth it for i have been soccer-thirsty for about 2 months....bowling!!! guess what!! i won them(jeremy,sze ron and zs) ha ha .....really a fluke...dun be so impressed..
here is my score ,the third one!!

still find myself laughing at this jeremy's joke...we were on our way to bowling alley at kallang theatre....there was this pet shop and while we were passing by , jeremy decided to barge into the shop suddenly and and asked the startled shopowner who was still coming to terms with his sudden intrusion this " Excuse me sir , do u sell a de___ here?" then before the shopowner could reply all of us burst into laughter and he jeremy walked out of the class just like that as though he didnt do anything wrong.....
pity i didnt know he was going to do before hand for i could have taken a clip and post it on youtube ha ha......

kk thats all for today i guess

2008-10-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

Peace??.....Are there any of it ??.....Not feeling well now....

2008-10-06T14:15:00.003+08:00

Have been camping in library these past week or so.....though i would like to stress that i am not a nerd , i do love to go to library for it inspires me to study and it also reminds me that no knowledge is deem enough......

found the best place to study in library yesterday....jude said its emo-place but i love it there ....cuz i can crouch low and be blocked by this plot of plants cutting me away from the rest of the world...
its right at the extreme corner of the library facing towards the grass patch.

i love that cement bench in the middle of the pic....the feeling is indescribable when u sit there and look at the wide flat patch of grass......a perfect place to be away from ppl....just a shame that someone with binocular can look at u from the condo or more easily, from the corner of the library that i am talking about...............
but nevertheless it has became my favourite place to hang around..........

2008-10-04T00:30:00.002+08:00

I am the one beside the goalie in orange.(picture below) This is a solid proof to ppl like Shi Zheng and others who think I am a "bench warmer". Pls dun assume if u dun know anything.There are just ppl who can't seem to accept that a councillor and a express student can fit with the teamates.
Who say i am a "bench warmer"?Closed your mouth yeap.
for ur info shi zheng, i did not play only on 4 games out of 20 plus games that we had.

Soccer is a team game and there is no main 11 like volley ball or net ball. It is all about form,fitness,suspension and tactics that decides.

2008-10-03T22:28:00.003+08:00

I shouldn't have done that or shouldnt have done this......neither should i have stand or sit.....shouldn't have stay or go....shouldn't have speak or mute........i dunno...i just dunno...

E-maths ....did badly i guess.....there was this question on similarity and i got the answer when i look at it..yet i thought that cant be an answer and went on to think of more details.....in the end all i would get now is big fat zero. Arghhh......first part wrong , how would the rest be awarded though the steps are correct.....

I dunno....i dunno....i have failed and i have failed again in my expectations.............

still remember this line though....the best thing we should do is to do the right thing and the last thing we should do is to do nothing....
thanks for those words cx......a great line i must say....

i shouldnt be thinking , i shouldnt be......is there a need or is it valid enough to think.......why ? why? i dun know myself at all.....why should i be even longing....

i am being too naive when i shouldnt be .....i have to look up and be realistic....but certainly it is easier said then done........arghhh.....

its addictive, really addictive....oh god...........i just hope it would develop into full time tsunami or something....

a great venom indeed.....like what they say in burmese " main ma mar yar thel koe pyar" ....not gonna translate since it would mean a great deal in the post....

arghhh.....
anyway listening to akon's blame it on me
certain things really reflects what i want to say...
yeah so i have bold it..........

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

I’m sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done (dad,mum,sis,grandma)
I’m sorry I’m not always there for my sons
I’m sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say (my family)
Like how you are the best thing in my world (my family)
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

[Bridge]
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

[Chorus]
You can put the blame on me [4x]
Said you can put the blame on me [3x]
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn’t know what to do
Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings

He got a second wife and you didn’t agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I’m sorry that you had to do it on your own
I’m sorry that I went and added to your grief
I’m sorry that your son was once a thief
I’m sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would’ve listened and not be so bad
I’m sorry your life turned out this way
I’m sorry that the FEDS came and took me away

[Bridge]

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say
Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame
Even though the blame’s on you [3x]
I’ll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me [2x]
You can put that blame on me

2008-09-30T16:58:00.002+08:00

I am sorry Mum and Dad , I have never been a perfect son for you....
I am sorry Sister , I have never been a understanding brother for you.....
I am sorry Grand ma , I have never woken up early at weekends to talk to u.........

I am sorry to all my relatives out there , who I hardly bother though they would always ask me how i am doing....i am sorry

i am sorry to all my friends out there, who i take granted for and would mostly either boss around or take advantage of their kindness

I am sorry Cherly.................... for being insensitive at times towards her , for always asking her for help in one way or another......
I am sorry for all my acts which are at times done without thinking from others' view
I am sorry Calvin,..................for dragging you late at nights on Fridays and Saturday after our library session...
I am sorry Diwakar................for how I would crack sensitive jokes though i dun really mean it and how i would get all worked up when u call me a "flirt".........for how i would always drag you to whichever place i want to go in school.....
I am sorry Cash ...............for how i would always reject you when you want to go out...though i am busy, it shouldnt be an excuse after all...........

to be continued.(when i have the feeling)..........

oh yeah by the way i have lost half of my phone contact thanks to firmware update...now thats great ........those number I save after June were all affected as they were save in phone memory instead of Sim card.........great.......

Thank you miss D8 for the paper. It was very hard not to fail.

Reap what you seow? ......nah it doesnt have work like that.....countless revison papers from various schools didnt help at all

2008-09-12T20:01:00.005+08:00

Ok I dun know why but as the exam is drawing nearer , I am getting more and more distracted instead of becoming more focused. How I wish I can just fully concentrate on studies instead of having to worry on other things.Arghh....the more I think of them , the more distracted i guess.Sigh...sigh

Anyway on a separate note I would like to thank Winny and Kareen. Though what they did were small gestures , I cant help but keep recalling what they had said.It is always nice to hear your juniors looking up to you and listening to ur advices. I would take it that I am doing something right in that area. Anyway yeah I can only sow the seeds. It would only bear fruits in a year ot two later.But yeah , on a council note, I am very happy with how things are going. Ever heard of open-source programs such as Firefox and why they are popular? It is becoz u accept everyone's idea and create a very happy working environment.Thats what i am doing in Council and from what i see it is yeaping rewards.(It is only my opinion, i may be wrong) Had a informal-meeting with EXCOs after photo-taking.The best meeting I have had this year, I gotta say. Was very fruitful indeed. Hopefully the future ones are gonna be even better.

Ok enough about council stuffs.Now a bit more about social life.

Ok celebrated Cheryl's bday on 10th though hers actual bday was on 11th. So yeah met him with the rest of the guys at hub @7. I had this crazy plan whereby we would go to her house and just hang out there before I would get a call from my home needing me to leave. The rest mood would get dampened and they would leave her house , spoiling the whole celebration. She would then believe that whole event would be canceled.
But here is what happened. Clavin , being kyaw's friend, was late. So we were too anxious while at her house. Give away number 1.
Then when he came, I tried to leave her house becoz of the "call". But dear Kyaw being a very good actor, blew it away by laughing at her doorstep when in actual fact it was supposed to be very serious misfortune that would have prompted me to leave. give away number 2.
then when me and calvin finally managed to collect the cake , I realised that the match box i took from Cheryl's house had only 9 match sticks inside o.O. But i ignored it and continued. By the time we had gathered below her house and gotten ready the cake it was way behind time. Then while infront of her house the match box problem starts. I tried to light up the two but failed due to the merciless wind. jun Xing stepped in and tried another 2. Well he failed as well. the Kareen tried and there was light but it wasnt enough to be caught to the cabdle. to cut the long story short, all were used up yet there wasnt even one candle lit up. So me and calvin had to run upstairs and tried to borrow lighter from some random houses nearby.

Yeah so thats basically about it. Cock up after cock up. yeah that was kyaw's great plan and idea. Nvr in my life I have screwed up this much in an event i took care of :( . nvm. Cheryl you dont mind , do u?

Jun Xing ois taking this photo so he isnt inside

Anyway yeah we had a great time. I enjoyed every minute of it though i had to do the dishes later. You should be honoured cheryl, I dun really do dishes at my home . Anyway yeah ppl pls dun think too much about what is between me and Cheryl. I am proud to announced that she is very close and good friend of mine.(dunno her her side though)oh I mean i dun know the level of friendship , not relationship okays. Anyway she has a bf . opps. But hell yeah...once again Happy Birthday Cheryl!! You have always been there for me as friend. Calvin too yeah. Good luck for your O's.

Ok, a little bit about my public image thingy. Dunno why . but I keep hearing lots of rumors about me. Not trying to say i am popular,dun get me wrong,coz i am unpopular. This dog tag of "FLIRT" has been on my neck for a while now such that i cant take it anymore. So i shall adress here a bit.
Ok, first of all I would like to state that I am a single.
Secondly , I have this irritating face and smile (jeremy calls it "cheeky") which more often or not seem to be radiant when i am happy, when i am conversing with friends.But the problem is most of my friends are girls becuz i have trouble communicating with guys as most of them are immature in my eyes.
Thirdly, I hail from a CCA which is from total different background as the one I am in for Council and in studies. Meaning my these 3 circles of friends are rarely over-lapped so yeah there is wide range of network.
With these circles of ppl , how am i not possible to walk around the school without replying "hi"s or smiles? And what , ppl call that flirting?

ok another common scenarior...
talking to a friend and laughing along with her because the conversation is engaging enough . Whats wrong?? I mean two freinds who are just conversing without any desires of any sought. purely just talking. Whats wrong ?? what the hell...

I valued this special feeling call "love" and i fully admit that i doesn't come that easily. So yeah pls ppl stop assuming/thinking/judging me for a guy who have had many exs just becoz of the tag "Flirt". Dun judge a book by its cover.

2008-08-18T18:00:00.010+08:00

I am sick now. Dunno why 2008 has really been a bad year for me.

Anyway was sleeping last night and at 3 in the morning i found myself shivering though the windows were just slightly ajar. it was really cold as though a cold wave of air penetrated my body. Two thick layers of blankets didn't help either.When i finally woke up at 630 , i couldnt even walk or talk properly. The feeling just sucks..so weak and so tired. Yet i went to school since there is gonna be physics test. Half way through the morning assembly , realized i really couldnt take it anymore. Went to talk to Mrs Chan about my situation. then went on to mrs kok to ask whether i could take the test earlier to go home . She told me to take it tomorrow since i wasn't feeling well. So yeap mum fetched me home....thank you teachers...really appreciate your understanding... Got two days MC.
Basically thats my story for today's morning. basically was in bed all the time resting....

So many things to think , care and emo about these days. wonder when i would break down. Maybe today's sickness is also because of that stress. . .

ppl how would you cope if you have problems in every aspect of your life. We are not talking about one aspect , we are talking about every aspect. sigh..

found myself staying back aimlessly on thursdays just to catch a glimpse
this has been constantly on my mind for a few weeks

13 is 4 lower than 17.

baby-sitting is great

i dun ask for much...i like a peaceful life anyway.....glamour is not in my dictionary....
should it be a case of brain or heart....damn i shall choose lungs or stomach....ok thats random..

oh yeah i pass my bio so convincingly this time round....:)
to any sec 2s who think that with lvl rankings of above 40 , there shouldn't be any prob when they proceed to sec 3..my advice is think twice about choosing classes...ppl who are in 50s , 60s, 40s, can do better than you in sec 3...its all about your intellegience ...not much about hardwork anymore...thats how this 12th in lvl arrogant kyaw learned the lesson of his life....

there was this person who msged me on the weekend....asking if we were to be able to be friends ....so i agreed...as the convo went on , there was adminssion along i like u...that line ....to be honest i was shocked yet impressed ...really impressed ...at least she dared to do it....i can tell you i am hopelessly gutless to admit such thing in 17 yrs of my life...

there have been this funny incidents whereby ppl who read my posts go away with these feelings that certain posts where refering to them...it is a chore clearing up all these misunderstandings...so pls ppl if you were to think its you pls read at all the points clearly and think whether it really fits in...
so to highlight....i am not refering to anyone in particular....
but a person with sherlock holmes-like ability will ofcourse uncover my posts

2008-08-03T04:24:00.003+08:00

the more i read it , the more angrier i get. ....
control control...
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
control.....
special right????set example????
think of the words before you use pls pls
i am already doing my best.....
a green horn ...sigh

try carrying 5 kg of them....in case u dun realize , i have got a back bone problem.........
______ are meant to be at home??
Pls i usually reach home at 7 plus earliest. an hour of lunch+break+shower. i am left with one or two hours to complete my homework. What is left after that ?? Tuition work....try studying burmese pls....
where is revision?
with the same subject the next day due to unfavorable time table you tell me who would bring home and bring it back......

2008-08-03T03:59:00.003+08:00

I am very pissed right now.
You know nothing about our customs. One year makes a very big difference. Sec 1 is the basic foundation. This is what happens when you have someone taking over without proper education on how things work. Please please think twice again ok?

How much of a hassel is those bunch of _______.
Seriously , right and privilege are not in my dictionary
but recognition and appreciation are.
If we were to be like other students , we must as well not use it. Just like other students go canteen and meet? Just like other students , study or do homework at various tables around the school.

Every one who knows me well knows how much it means to me.
Winy things are different from then.
Sometimes it is not worth sacrificing your time and effort.
For whose good at the end of the day?

god knows how much have i done for it
am i not even allowed that smallest of gesture?
huh...
huh....

reminds me a bit of how things work in Myanmar. When army officers move to civilian offices without proper knowledge of things , they brought in load of new systems which don't really coordinate with civilian offices. i think the same is happening now. No wonder they say "Build your foundations first".

2008-07-14T17:56:00.002+08:00

My head is in whirl now....
Resting is no use.

Only way to solve the prob. is to let go.
No...You cant do it!...My heart says
Go on!!....... Roar my brain

Is life that hard?
So full of twists and turn?

Give me strength my god....
I pray...
Vaccinate me with your calmness
I pray....
Noble God ....
Grenadier life is better than mine , i would say

Moaning and groaning in pain in the life trapped door
Extricated like a bird tapped in a cage from life would be great

Anguished plea to god will be of any use?

Hold on for your dear life ....
And to your family
Riding a roller coaster is what life seems like...
Do it , done it , did it and face the more problems awaiting you

Tell mother i won't be home early
It is not because I dun love u...but because i am searching for meaning of life
Mother your the best...the best that i have ever seen
Everlasting care, I long

Bored so I came up with this poem during Mother Tongue period...basically just trying to create very World War 2 stereo-type soldier poetry where a soldier who faces obstacles and misses home will write....

2008-06-28T20:25:00.009+08:00

If I say that I wrote this song for you

would you believe me?

It may not sound as beautiful as other songs

You may not know that love songs couldn’t be written out

if we don’t have feeling of love

But for you, sweetheart, it all came out so easily

You might have heard thousands of ballads songs

Some may touch your heart, though they mean nothing ever more….

But you will know when you listen to

This song , it was meant just for you

You know in heart what I meant,

And we would be there for each other

In the past, I spent a lot of time looking for the meaning of it

but I just knew it when you are near

I just knew that if life is a melody

you are the lyrics to make it meaningful

and make life a beautiful music

Let the song play while we are talking on that part

All I hear is just the voice of you and me

We will be together for so long

As mentioned in the poetry

That where there is love, there is always hope

Your love has lightened up my heart

You are my destiny...

Love holds up many truths to look for

And I have wasted my life time searching for them

But not so long ago , I realized when I get close to you

If my life is a rhythm, you are the beautiful lyrics to this song

That has touched my heart

Let the song play while we are talking on that part

All I hear is just the voice of you and me

We will be together for so long

As mentioned in the poetry

That where there is love, there is always hope

Your love has lightened up my heart

You are my destiny...

Let the song play while we are talking on that part

All I hear is just the voice of you and me

Ppl dun start thinking Kyaw has gone ultra-emo or what....its just the lyrics from Love of Siam( a trailer i posted a few post earlier). Finally managed to watch it today after what has been half a year long wait...well worth it th

ough....I was beaming with excitement...so engrossing...story line is solid and the actors really bring out the emotions .....just dun really like the theme though for it is homosexuality,it would have been much more received if it were teenage romance....nvm thats the director decision ...anyway credit to him for daring to take risks....oh yeah i thinkYing is rather cute!...ha ha seems that Tong got her in the end...anyway anyone interested in the movie...coz i may upload it if anyone wanna watch...

2008-06-14T14:15:00.002+08:00

My Special Friday the 13th

I have nvr been this down in my 17 years of my life...suffered the worst moment of my life up to today....How do u feel when u lose something so sentimental and precious to you? I will hate East Coast Park from today onwards.

I shall just summarize what had happened since i am in no mood to type everything out.

Basically I was at the library doing social studies research and stuff on my laptop at library(i cant seems to get myself to study at home)....yeah thats when a couple of friends asked me to meet them at city hall....seeing it isnt far from library and the fact that i have nvr met them for a long time prompted me to join them without any reluctance. Upon meeting them , they suggested to go east coast park to cycle. I thought why not? After all it has been a while since i last went there.
Yeap thats the start of the disaster. Went to the bike rental shop then we saw the lockers conveniently at the shop. So me and another fri put of stuff inside the locker and locked it. Inside my bag were my laptop , a sweater, tuition notes , mr chio's maths worksheets.Inside my friend's were a couple of books , and her comb make-up and stuff....her bag worth around 200 bucks. Yeap we took things for granted. Went off to cycle around and eat for 3 hr plus before we returned. To our horror, we saw our locker open and supposedly not in use, ready to serve again. My whole world turned upside down. Hell yeah ...thats it ...gone it has gone....the thief dun even bother to leave my tuition notes , worksheets and my fri books behind. Are there any of the use for them. Bastards pray on the innocent and naive victims. We then talked to shop owner and bla bla bla la....found out the locker has been opened with duplicated key. What the hell. Called police , then they came down and take our statements. Well what else can they do or can we do when there is no CCTV and eye witness around. Gone gone gone.......All my precious data in my laptop are all gone...pictures,videos,documents. I just hope the thief is just interested in the hardware and not the data inside.

So yeah thats what happened. Ppl dun follow suit. Dun ever think that lockers are safe coz they arent....and in worst case just bring along your bag where ever you go if u are in public place. A pricey lesson to learn. In fact a $1.5 k lesson. I dun think there is any course or workshop or tuition that is pricier than this for just 1 lesson.

Come to think of it life is very unfair. I am nvr lucky in anything since i was young. Now of all the lockers , ours was stolen. I am a devoted Buddhist( our Buddhism is slightly different from chinese but similar to thais and sri lankans) and we have this 5 common bad deeds which we would always try to avoid in our daily lives.

1. To kill someone or something.
2. To steal one's thing.
3. To have inappropriate designs on someone else.
4. To tell lies.
5. To immerse in alcohol, cigarettes , etc.

Come to think of it , i have to admit i have committed those bad deeds ,except stealing , knowingly or unknowingly though i always try to avoid them as much as i could. Well ever since i can remember myself stealing is the thing i have nvr committed. I didnt even harbor any thoughts of stealing , let alone commit one. Stealing is a no no in my policy. thats how i was brought up. I rather be poor and be in rags than to be rich with a lack of integrity....Yet It could happen to ppl like me . Is this even a retribution?Hardly so IMO......However I will have to comfort myself that i am paying back what i might have done in my previous life........ Screwed up life.

2008-06-09T22:14:00.002+08:00

kyaw th bitch can speak chinese! ;D
kyaw th bitch is veryvery vugar! ;D
kyaw th bitch has alot of germss! ;D

manx, i FINALLY got to know more about them! ;O
&& i saw their photos, BOO!
craps.
hur.

I HAD RE-FORMAT KYAW'S BRAIN!
YAY-NESS!
4hrs of phncall, makes one feels better indeed! ;D
haha, & ya;
i prefer smallteethmonster thn ________ ! (;

yAngg`

2008-06-01T21:23:00.001+08:00

How shall i start..I have experienced many things during this two week after exams.

Time flies so fast....i was looking at the 7^th and 8^th Council investiture photos and i dun see much change. But it is a difference of 1 year....very soon it will be our turn. I just hope we will step down in most graceful manner.

There are things i wanna say but shall i do it? A duel of thoughts between wanting ppl to know and worried over the possible prospect of getting it out of hand. I shall decide later i guess.

I have learnt to let go of things. I just have to accept the reality i guess. Nevertheless she shall still be my good friend and hopefully not being a councillor anymore will not serve as a boundary between our friendship. Yeah Cheryl? I have failed in my quest to keep you in council and I applaud you for your mental strength.

I will post another one for my experiences in SLC(Student Leaders Convention)

Anyway i shall end the post with a clip.

The movie is named “virgin snow” . Very romantic movie. Shall describe about it later. Now off to watch the Harry Potter 1 and 2 which i painstakingly downloaded since this morning.

2008-05-24T01:15:00.002+08:00

YO BAYYYYBEHHHH .
i know you'll be like rather surprise and stuff.
cause i didnt told you, i'm gona like update and blahh. ;O
well, i just wana say, dont miss me too much, but instead MISS ME PLENTYPLENTYPLENTY LOADS. ;x

oh ya, stop dodge-ing wen i bangg you, keaaaa.
&boo, please know that i'm not gona miss you, keaaa!
please ~~BELIEVE~~ me!

love. (;

yAngg` in the house, YO!

2008-05-12T23:18:00.005+08:00

Boo! I was told to blog again! ;D
Screw you kyaw! Hiakhiak.
Whatever luhh.

Orkay, lastest news.
Kyaw wen cage. &claims that he’s the 2ndd top scorer.
Lousy bitch. ;D
Next time be first luh, what for be second?! ;D
(hur, cant you see that I’m trying to motivat you, bodoh?!)

KYAW GOT SUPER SMALL TEETH! – SUPER CUTE.
And he change.d his house whatever lamp or light bulb or whatever it is luhh.
Yaya, so manx. My daddy very manx too! ;D

most importantly, kyaw going swimming with friends tomorrow ! ;D
People, please imagingggg. Kyaw with his swimming trunk &his one family pack. XD
Denden after swimming, white kyaw will turn into a veryvery tann kyaw!

Right, what happen when someone whom is veryvery tann, bcame veryvery white?!
I know I’m crapp. Just ignore me . thankyou. ;]

Shitx, I think I’ll laugh at you on Wednesday. ;x
yAngg`

2008-04-26T10:16:00.003+08:00

I know i should be studying now....but i just want to share this clip..i dun understand thai but somehow it is very touching...

i am not really greedy...if ygn were to be as developed as bangkok , i would nvr live in overseas...ofcoz that is not the only reason why i am in overseas but........

anyway gotta go to mug....you have to aim for the stars for you reach the moon as u fall....

by the way the clip is from thai movie titled "The love of Siam" so cool!

2008-04-17T20:51:00.002+08:00

BOO!

hellohello.
i save.d your blogg.
&& i manage to logg in, YO!

;hey, maybe i shall upload your very very cute photo too?!
den, everyone will have a good laugh. ;D

yAngg`

a week after library of sorrows

2008-01-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

I am so delighted today......damn cant believe my luck....we won south-zone champion bishan park with the score of 2-1 !!. . . amazing how your life can be....it is like a rollar coasta ride ....always having ups and downs......

Match report

Being the first match of the season , i have to admit i was a bit nervous and praying to the god to ensure a good start. same old team-talk by mr sim. but i think it had an effect on us in the end. when the match start , i was trying in vain to spot the no. 11 player whom mr sim had asked me to man-mark but i couldnt find him.Apparently he was wearing no. 8 instead. no wonder.had a couple of bad touches initially but got better as the game progress. basically kept the no. 8 quiet entire game untill their coach moved him further up. Really appreciate what zul, joel and rui xiang did to me.to put my confidence back. yeah thats what i have been lacking for the past whole week. the goal scorer were shakir and zul.thank you my team-mates.you guys really make my day.

but soccer cannot cure me , it can only numb my pain....for the pain is too servere to be cured.
thanks winston and cash for helping me keep my hand phone during the match.

2008-01-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

I dun wish to come to school. I dun wish to go for trainings. The school library is my library of sorrows.I hate any communication devices such as hand phones and IMs becoz they cant give me the info i needed to know.I hate reassurances and assurances. Willingness is now a reluctance. My life = meaningless

Mrs. kok is a bullet train by the way.
My eyebrow is a disaster ....
this post is so random...
wait i myself is random...
thoughts drifting away...

2008-01-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

A picture says a thousand words

A Library of Sorrows

2008-01-24T01:03:00.001+08:00

I know my blog has been rotting and sorry for that guys. School has been really busy for me. The school work , added with council and soccer leave me with no energy once i reach home.

I dun know why i went to there. or rather should i say i dun know why i didnt leave when i saw you with ___.I shouldnt have been at the third floor at the very first place. what have i done to deserve this , god.

the prospect of seeing u is the only sole reason which motivates me to go to school and trainings. u are the reason of my changed in behaviour . but i will nvr be able to shake off that tag "flirt" , huh? you are the first person who comes into my mind when i am down.you are the first person i think of when something is enjoyable.

i know u have every right to do whatever u want as i am just a stranger to u. But how i just wish u know the piercing feeling i felt this afternoon. It is worse than slashing yourself .

it is the thought that counts.You know how much i yearn to go there asap. where was the call my dear friend ?

2007-12-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

didnt know ppl have been coming to my blog. ppl as in those i am not close with. anyway my project isnt coming along so well.i have to admit i am lazy.
ok when will i be able to shake off my tag as a"jerk" , i wonder. What is it man. U cant judge a book by its cover , can u?...
look like i am going to be busy again i guess. soccer trainings, council stuff and going out with friends.arghh....
dunno what to write as my thoughts are driftitng.

2007-12-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

I have never posted for over two months. Yeah i know. The thought of keeping this blog alive is always on my mind but i am just plain too lazy. Er what is there to talk about?. Lets see...
Chicken pox!
I got chicken pox. Have been suffering since a week ago. Really irritating coz i cant afford to go out in this state. they have dried up but still there and the thought of scars left over makes me freak out. well maybe i shall use some skin care lotions that girls normally use. Maybe it will work . but that will be later. still have some of them havent really healed.
Handphone
Abnormally quite these days. I have forgotten my ringing and sms tone. My holidays are boring and fruitless thanks to chicken pox.
Job
Badly wanna work. Never know the feeling of earning ur own money and i am already 16. Shame. Wonder who is willing to give me a job . to those ppl who have contacts on jobs. pls put in a word for me he he. or rather words. Friendly , hardworking , kind, willing to learn , pleasant , gentle . lol i know those who are reading this will have puked by now.

ok still have so much to talk about but i am just lazy to type. Oh yeah i am thinking about creating this new concept on my blog. Something big and different . But i wonder how long i will take to complete it. Gotta have to do loads if it were to be turned into reality. But it is hard for me since i have to self learn everything . Tutorials are of great help but sometimes it is hard to find what ur are looking for. Maybe I shall try to contact Miss Nur... she has agreed to help me with IT if i ever need help. Just realized I have been lagging in IT and not improving at all. Other ppl have catch up and some are already ahead of me now. I can really this when it comes to IT stuff ha ha.

Oh yeah I did the council tee design.It is now worn by councilors.I think the reason it was approved by Miss Ng was that there were no other design.Anyway this is what i did.

Sadly Miss Ng changed the colour layout from the green to orange and brown :( .

Thats it for now.

2007-08-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

I am in no mood to post but i shall just as well do it since I have nothing to do.
Went out with derrick,jan,ca$h,sz8e ron ,arthur, winston , flaris, jorindda,ammira,lt for bowling and pool.On the train going there, winston and i turned emo. left the greatworld city around 4:30 via shuttle bus. After that lt,ammira,sz8e ron ,ca$h and i went to fort canning to explore.Quite interesting.I parted ways with them around 5:45 to meet my burmese friends.
Went to esplanade .The view is very nice at night. Sad :(.....most of the ppl here dont know how to appreciate.
Day and night passes by.But girls opinion on me nvr change.

Another random pic from bangkok.

2007-07-29T02:39:00.000+08:00

Woke up up 830 and rush off to bishan for trainings with the guys.Suppose to be there by 8 ,but in the end reach by 9:30 lol. Went to winston's house aroud 12 after that.Sorry Franco for the trouble.Came back home tbefore going out again.Life seems so boring when you dont have friends who are wiling to go out.Any way came back home and slept for 6hours ,waking up at 11pm.Now I cant sleep.

Just a random picture from bangkok.

2007-05-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

Student Council Investiture!!

Had Investiture today. I was super anxious before that ha ha. My first job as an EXCO was to take charge of the Heritage Gallery. It was an easy job considering that all I had to is make sure that every thing is intact in Heritage Gallery.Came down to council room straight away after school.Had to rush to dress up coz I thought the others had haven't dressed up when in fact everybody was done or nearly done.No time to style my hair properly! Kaung yong , Mei Yan and the other two seniors came! Went over to office to get the keys for Heritage gallery to on the lights and air-con.After that entertain guests who visit it. I talk a lot of crap when explaining about the Heritage Gallery. How would I know about its history when teachers don't teach us during history lessons.

After that went up to the hall when the ceremony started.Felt quite happy to stand on the stage without being embarrassed. For info, the last time I went on the stage was when I was an MC.You guys probably knows what had happened. After that watched the Sec4s performance.Thumbs up! I thought we look very united though a girl from (CENSORED) school told me that we look so disunited.No grudge or anything.We then watched the slideshow of the pictures taken last year. Everyone was so touched when the slide show ended. Then suddenly this gay Randy shouted the AMKsian Cheer from the gallery. It spoil the whole mood la. What had gotten inside his head at the time i wonder.
After that came down to foyer to entertain the guest. I went over to this two girls who were unaccompanied and say hi to them when Liyu appear from nowhere and said "Kyaw! dub try to hook on to my friends" ha ha funny la. I then talked to CHIJ girls. One quite chio. Sort of attracted to her.After that went a bit crazy taking photos. Imran kept calling me amksian idol coz gals kept asking me to take photo with them. Actually they ask everyone but he kept mentioning it.

Then went to S11 to have dinner with the rest of the councilors.Shall post pictures later.

2007-04-24T22:41:00.000+08:00

Finally decided to make this blog public.Deleted all the archives.Any way today was a long day becoz i had an exco interview.Sort of did badly for intervie.Later went with Charlynn to popular to buy stationery coz i lost my pencil case.i have been very unlucky recently. First i lost pencil case then history wb folloed by pe shirt and short finally today i lost science text.......life just sucks